The Crystal Lady

The Poet's Corner

Poems about  when I was feeling Blue,
 Depressed  or just feeling down

Joan Estelle High
 January 2003

I know why they call this place the vale of tears.
Because today I feel the tears warm on my cheek.
It is quite near the valley of the shadow of death.
Some days it seems it is the peace of death I seek.
I escape into dreams, happiness seems to evade me.
Nothing but mundane days, stretching on so endlessly.
Nights grow much longer, the summer ends it's story.
The Fall night are lonesome and full of painful memories.
I visit other worlds, when I sleep upon my bed.
Adventures in dreams that are in the morning gone.
Sing duets with big cowboys but only in my head.
A growing sense of dread permeates the rising dawn.
A sense of despair in in the very breathe I breath.
I feel helpless to change anything in my life at all.
So in the night time, other lives in dreams I weave.
My daytime life get mired and I often stumble and fall.
My life is at an all time low, so is my self esteem.
Can't see my way, life has forced me to my knees.
Leaping tall buildings in a bound but only in my dreams.
Oh, Lord, I can not see the flowers for the weeds.
Lord, if you are there and you even know who I am.
Give me some courage to go on, Deal me a better hand.

Why Not Now Lord?
By Joan Estelle High

Why not now Lord?, Why not now? Why do You still delay?
Mankind  has never needed you, more than it does today.

I remember when You left Jerusalem, so many years ago.
You promised  you would return again, when I'd like to know.

Today I watch the morning sky, look up to the sunshine bright.
I hope that you will return today or if not today, perhaps tonight.

I have many things to tell You Lord; It's enough to make you cry.
So much trouble and sorrow  here on Earth; I long to ask You why.

If it is because we have disobeyed, then please forgive our sin.
Cleanse our heart, purify our minds, and heal us deep  within.

We do not really blame You,  if you have changed your mind.
 You in your wisdom may decide that mankind need more time.

I  hope that you still love us and  not wearied of all this mess.
But if you are coming back Dear Lord,  Now would be the best.

Bad Day At Black Rock
by Joan Estelle High

I cried out for some relief but relief was not there.
My soul longed for peace; my soul held deep despair.
I could not see any hope; for my life was closing in.
His plans for my life seemed to be failing once again.
Many times I got lost, my pathway was not so clear.
If I ever dared to love, I would lose what I held dear.
Even If I ever dared to hope; or my place in life to win.
I'd pick my self up, only to be knocked down again.

Some days of happiness, where hope reined for a day.
Green oasis in life's deserts and I'd rest along the way.
At times I had a friend who helped to share the load.
Like roses in God's garden, they lined the lonely road.
Times I've been alone and the way was just to hard.
Don't want to do this again; Oh Lord I'm just so tired
Why have I been exiled  Lord, did I sin against your law?
Tell me Lord what have I done, what flaw in me you saw.

If you are looking down, I hope You look deep within.
And if I was that sinful Lord, then please forgive my sin.
I am knocking at the door, I know you hold life's key.
I will not stay another day, unless you can comfort me.
You hear a sparrow fall, A wee baby's whispered cry.
Then it's time to help me Lord, If not please tell me why. 

Song playing is" End of Night"
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